Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
