I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
