who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize