In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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