i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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