doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
