how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
