C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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