I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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