A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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