i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
