he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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