sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize