I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
