She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
