Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
