he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
