His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
