Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
