winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
