Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize