GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have fence marks all over my body
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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