somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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