on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
