I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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