That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
