Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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