We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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