Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
