I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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