you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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