Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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