i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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