its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
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But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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