i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
