During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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