Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
