i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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