Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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