You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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