Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
