dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize