I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
And then he peed in my hair
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
