Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
