he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
