maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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