right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
