When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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