Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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