I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
