What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
