chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
