So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need water and some morals
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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