Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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