i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
