I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
