Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
