ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
