Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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