he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize