I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I FOUND THE LEGS
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
