Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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