Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
