I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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