New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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