i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
